Black Men, Try Harder

I am sorry but I do not exist for your entertainment. I do not exist for your consumption. I exist for me. Every part of my being is for me. You do not need to like it. You do not need to understand it. You just have to keep it moving, same way you do when I’m being violated in front of you.

Okay let’s get talking.

I cannot remember how many times I have been asked why I “hate men so much”. LOL this is really funny because hey, I love men. I love black men. Black women love black men. I mean, you can see this in the way black women who do not identify as “feminist” or those who are against the #MenAreTrash movement come at those who do on these social media streets when men are being called trash. That’s love guys.

Pity you fail to reciprocate that love when you pass the very same women who defend you tooth and nail on social media, on the street being catcalled, raped, beat up because “it’s none of my business,” and “what did she do, he wouldn’t just beat her up,” oh and your favorite “why is she dressed like that? She is asking for it.”

You fail your mothers, your sisters, your daughters each and every day by enabling these incidents in your environments. For every Bongani who is a friend of yours who preys on a drunk girl at a club in your presence, there is a Sbu preying on your daughter the same way, because people like you keep quiet when such things happen in your watch.

You fail your daughters every time you tell them to dress “less provocatively” because “men are animals out there.” You are telling them to duck bullets and doing nothing to stop the people firing them. You are basically useless because they can only duck so many bullets.

You are saying long skirts and dresses prevent rape but 6 month old babies still get raped. By you, your friends, your colleagues, your sons. These people are in your circles. You turn a blind eye because you respect them with their bullshit because they are men.

It’s amazing how something as measly as a short skirt can make you lose respect for a woman, but something as serious a rape will not make you lose respect for a man. It’s amazing how you react “haha” to Facebook posts calling women “bitch” “hoe” and all the names you have for us under the sun but write researched think pieces on how you alone are not trash when women call men “trash” because the whole #MenAreTrash movement is about you. See your life?

Men, why are you so scared of calling out other men?

Why would you rather forbid (because you own them right?) your girlfriends and sisters from going out to party than face the men who prey on them? And then you hide behind that “no man wants a girl who…” line because our entire existence is dependent on what you as a man want in a woman, right?

Let me tell you why. You are this over protective over the women in your life because you know men are trash. But when we point it out on we are man-haters. We are breaking down black men. We are building anti-men societies.

The whole world has beeeeeen anti-women. It still is. What are you doing about it besides getting touched whenever women claim the little spaces you have not occupied? What have you done besides making sure the status quo is maintained because it favors you as a man?

So, men, I’ll say the line you force down on us when trying to control our choices in clothing : “This is coming from a place of love,” do better.

One last thing: The rand is stable. The sky is still blue. Men are trash.



My very first post was inspired by a post by Zinhle Sokhela titled “MISOGYNY AND SEXISM”. Strong-minded woman I have always looked up to. (I swear that was not to make her sound old because shes’s so young). Here is the article. Great read I promise you.

I  think I feel the need to address this because it is an issue too close to  home that I feel really strongly about. I loooove me my shorts and if it wasn’t for the thick skin I am covered in, I long would have stopped wearing short jeans and dresses. The insults and snide remarks I have had to endure would have long reduced me to a weakling that let’s views of dense male species govern what she chooses to wear. I had never really taken this to mind until some old male person (I am putting this much more respectfully than I should) reached out a hand to grab my thighs while I was wearing a short and got a “angithi ubufuna lokho vele (that is what you wanted right?)”when I called him out on it.

I feel like people need to understand one thing: my choice in clothing does not give you the right to violate my body nor does it consent to you touching my body, making snide remarks or sexual advances. Wearing shorts is not “asking for it”. I do not understand the concept of feeling entitled to get one’s hands on a woman because she is wearing revealing clothing.

These boys need to be taught that “trashy” does not amount to “woman showing leg”. They need to be taught that women are to be respected regardless of their choice in clothing. Stop telling us what to wear!


Thanks for reading.