Teach Me How To Dougie

On my inability to gwara-gwara and how, in a parallel world, I am stupid, dumb and all other ableist terms.

I love dancing. It is also no secret that every time I try to dance I look like a flamingo with impaired mobile ability. Not in my head though. In my head I look like the cooler version of Cassper Nyovest doing the shoulder wiggle in that Tito Mboweni video. I wouldn’t particularly carry rhinoed notes called tigers to make myself look cooler though, but each to his/her own right?

There was a point to me bragging about my dancing abilities that do not manifest in the flesh. I am desperately trying to find it somewhere between my ears. Oh yes! The South African school system. Wait? What does the shoulder wiggle have to do with…?

It’s okay I got you. You see now, in a parallel world somewhere in my grey mush, I am a child desperately trying to prove they can dance because here, intelligence is measured in dance moves. I can do geometry and mechanics but here nobody cares about that. If I cannot gwara-gwara I am [insert ableist term, the most common being “stupid”].

Flip it back up to this world where a child who gets a 23% in biology is not the sharpest tool in the toolbox because all they can do is ballet and contemporary dance. I mean, how dare they not be interested in human anatomy and the balance sheet?

You know what’s worse? When the system has established that, despite many efforts to “help” this child, they cannot grasp the structure of the cell, the response is not “why don’t you try something else, like music?” The response is at least get a 30%, fail to get into varsity for any of the things you would be interested in, have a hard time contributing to  the economy, then turn to crime, then we get you into another system, the social justice system. Yet another system that will fail you.

Our schools still prioritize academic excellence and put little effort into grooming soccer players, dancers, actors, hockey players from school level. So many of our learners who do not have the chance to go to private schools and some previous model-C schools seldom have a chance to show and enhance their talents because there are little to no facilities to harness that talent.

Academic excellence is good, but if sometime this lifetime, kinesic intelligence is afforded the same attention as mathematical intelligence, we would have achieved a lot.

*does the shoulder-wiggle*

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